


If I Could Write a Letter to Me

by nerdyydragon



Series: Kingsman Tumblr Ficlets [47]
Category: Kingsman (2014), Kingsman (2015), Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Harry does a bit of soul-searching in a way, M/M, letter writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 05:38:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8610802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdyydragon/pseuds/nerdyydragon
Summary: They say that in order to grow as people, the best way to do so is to be someone you needed at different stages in your life. Perhaps in writing a letter to Henry, though by no means able to change the past, Harry might be able to do so.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer*  
> The title is from a song by Brad Paisley titled "Letter to Me."

Approaching sixty, in their line of work, was a rarity. Harry knew this. Everything had been taken care of; everything he owned upon event of his death would either go to Eggsy or Merlin, though the bulk of it admittedly was going to his beloved and the man’s younger sister. He had no certainties about his own death being any time soon, if a rather long list of people could help it, but if there was one thing he had left to do it would be to ease the conscience of his youth. There were many things he would like to tell his younger self, should the opportunity arise, and this was the best way to do it.

Eggsy had gone to bed, and Harry sat in the office with a pad of paper and an envelope before him, along with a pen.

_ Henry; _

_ Perhaps as you read this, should you ever, you are at a time in your life when your father’s wishes are still ruling over every action, thought, and sensibility you have. If this is the case, know that at some point you do become master of your own person. Do not fear those emotions which have likely begun to stir in your chest - there is nothing wrong with them, and despite what the world may tell you they do not make you any less human, nor any less worthy of respect and life.  _

_ You may not understand yet, but pray, God, stay away from Michael. If I know you as well as I should suppose I do, this warning won’t do a solid iota of good, but it will not end well for you. _

_ Despite what your father says, follow your musical inclinations, and your talent for prose and poetry. He may think them weak, but words are the most powerful weapons we have and by no means let them dull. If I have one true regret of my youth, it is that. I have every earnest wish that you do not do the same - though I have a feeling it will ring true in the end. Your physical talents lie in martial arts, not football and rugby and rowing and any other “posh wanker” private school sports that are offered. Pursue it, if you can; it will come in handy some day. _

_ Your father, though he says he means well, is a selfish man who has no real interest in you aside from what you can do for the family name. It isn’t his fault; he is a product of his environment just as you are. Forgive him for that. Do not let your anger at his coldness turn you to unhealthy habits; the bottle, no matter how inviting it may seem, is no better mistress than any woman he could attempt to persuade your affections toward. It is not a habit easily broken, and will stay with you your whole life - as it has done in mine. _

_ Above all, I have one main point of advice to you, even if you do not follow any of the ones you have already been subject to. Love. Henry, love. Do not harden your heart against the world, and do not let the prejudices of your elders dictate who you show kindness towards. One of the most extraordinary people I’ve ever met was not one of whom your father would call “our own”, and I recently had the joy of calling him mine. You would not believe that such a perfect person could exist, Henry, but he does, even though he is no more or no less mortal than you or I, and is surrounded by the failings of humanity. So be kind; listen to the stories of people who will gain you no social standing, make friends with people regardless of background or wealth or societal influence. Be a person, not a puppet. Do not make the same mistakes I did. _

_ If you’ve made it this far, I would like to say that I’m proud of you, at risk of sounding vain, for the man you will become. You overcome the hardships that life throws at you, you survive, you love, you dream. I can with utmost honesty say that when I look in the mirror, I see a man who my younger self would have needed.  _

_ Though many will commend you on the great man you have proven yourself to be, you’re still a contrary little shit: disregard everything I have said. If you do, then your life will turn out as mine has, you come home from work every evening from a job you love with a man you love even more so. You will look in the mirror and see the face of a man who has achieved the goals he has set out for himself even at risk of his own destruction, and triumphed where by all rights he should have failed. You will look in the mirror, and see my face staring back at you from the glass. _

_ Yours, and best of luck; _

_ Henry Hart _

Harry looked up from his writing and stretched out his hand to see Eggsy leaning against the door jamb and yawning into the sleeve of his housecoat - not his own, as it was two sizes too large and very much the wrong colour.

“I thought you had gone to bed.” Harry said as he waved Eggsy over to him. The man seated himself on the side of the chair, partially in Harry’s lap though he was far too big to be doing so, and tucked his head into the crook of Harry’s neck.

“Couldn’t sleep. Was lonely without you. And cold.” Harry rubbed a hand down his back and Eggsy sighed. “What were you writing?”

“What I needed to hear many years ago. You may read it, if you like. I have no secrets from you. But if you would be so kind, it can wait until the morning.” He gave Eggsy’s thigh a stiff pat on his thigh so the man knew it was time to move, lest he begin to nod off in such a position that forced Harry to disturb him. “Now, off to bed, for both of us.”


End file.
